Guts and Glory

The US Swimming trials started last night. And it started with a bang- two world records in the first night, and then at least 2 more world records in the just the prelims this morning (at least the last time I checked).

While watching the coverage last night, all the old feelings crept back in my mind and body from my years of swimming past. The nervous tension that exists in the ready room before you parade out behind the blocks- the stare down, the music blasting in your ears as you try to drown out the world around you and focus on your body. The little questions that surface- Have I done enough? What about that practice I missed 4 months ago after a late night out? Will my stroke count hold up, what if I hit the wall in a half stoke?

You have to push these negative thoughts out of your mind and be in the moment. Remember you have focused 110% of your energy and life on THIS moment. You have devoted every waking (and sleeping) moment to making sure when you touch the water it will be the BEST it can be.

And the amazing, surreal and indescribable feeling when this actually happens. When you get on the blocks, go through you pre-start routine, whatever it may be, and have the swim of your life. It all just comes together- Your start is JUST right, you slice through the water and know right away that this is going to be THE swim- everything clicks. And for a moment, for those 60-odd seconds in the case of my dream 100 breaststroke, the world is perfect.

In my 10+ years of swimming, I had this moment only a handful of times, but it was enough. These memories resonate and I told them so dear to my heart, and watching what these athletes are going through, in both the track and swimming trials, pulls at the very best and worst parts of my heart.

I know how it feels to dedicate your life to a single thing, and have it pay off. I was rewarded, after 9 months of hard work, with a trip to NCAAs. I also know the heartbreak of being that 3rd or 4th person. At nationals my junior year, I was 17th in prelims- 1st alternate to swim at night. I was also, without warning or reason from my coach, left off a relay I had been part off all year, that would go on to get 3rd in the nation.

Sometimes it's hard not to let these unlucky and painful parts of my swimming career sour the entire experience. But there are times, like last night, when all I remember are the amazing and perfect swims- and it makes the 10+ years of sacrifice all worth it.

The pool where I spent countless hours of my college experience, and that provided memories that will last a lifetime.